How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
My legs feel like baby dolphins
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