so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
