maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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