New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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