I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
