I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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