i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
