I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
