I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
