I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
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