you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
