i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
