Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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