There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So vagazzling was a success
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
