but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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