how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
