They should really pass out barf bags in church
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
