everyone is single if you try hard enough
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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