I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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