Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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