the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
