I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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