i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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