NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
