Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I am morally bankrupt
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
