Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize