Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Sober January is a disaster.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
