We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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