The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
