i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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