thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
