I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
