How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
