why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize