your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize