I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
