do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
