my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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