i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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