Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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