she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
