Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
