if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm really busy with my period
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