My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize