How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
