hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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