I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
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