She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
