Rock
Scissors
Fuck
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
