I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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