At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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