I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
