Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
