I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
