Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
