i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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