i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
