Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
