no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I think I just sharted jello shots
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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