Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize