i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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